8/13/19 - Learning to 'Set The Pace' for HEALING
Updated: Aug 15, 2019
Explanted 3/11/19 - Video Diary BELOW :)
"The faster we live, the less emotion is left in the world. The slower we live, the deeper we feel the world around us."
After having been sick for so long, bedridden so many days and unable to enjoy the active life I've always loved, I find myself overly eager to dive right back into my life FULL THROTTLE, forgetting that my body has a long road of healing ahead. This illness continues to teach me so much about myself. Apparently I think LIVING means I have to be DOING. A life of consistent trauma and never learning healthier coping mechanisms has created some pretty intense hard-wiring that has my mind stuck playing too many OLD self-defeating tunes. Although I am slowly learning that there is a deep sense of PEACE that can be found in simply being STILL, my old habits of 'go, go, go' keep creeping back into my daily living, causing me to overdo and PUSH beyond my limits. What a tangled web I continue to weave! Just goes to show, although I have grown A LOT on this spiritual 'healing' journey, I have a long way to go to change some old patterns of existence. I do get frustrated with myself but through consistent prayer and meditation, I am learning to trust God's grace. I must learn to offer myself the same forgiveness and mercy that God offers me.
"My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness." ~ 2 Corinthians 12:9"
I am a damaged soul from past experiences and present struggles BUT damaged does not mean broken! As I have always shared with my health coaching clients, as long as we stay in the TRY we are already in the WIN :)
We may keep stumbling,
we may sometimes fall HARD,
but as long as we stay in the fight,
we are still moving FORWARD
So like Dori says...
"Just keep SWIMMING!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Swimming = Liquid ZEN ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Due to muscle malformations and imbalances due to my breast implants, I lived with chronic pain and limited range of motion in my upper body which adversely affected all the muscles in my chest, upper back, neck and shoulders. These issues put a huge damper on one of my favorite hobbies...SWIMMING :( I always enjoyed the pool not just as a means of exercise but also as a way to shut out the noise of the world and RELAX. Sadly chronic pain and borderline 'frozen shoulder' robbed me of my ZEN. I saw numerous chiropractors, acupuncturists and physical therapists over the years that offered limited mobility and pain relief that NEVER lasted. Crazy as it may seem, especially since I am a personal trainer which requires me to know a lot about body mechanics, I never even thought about the fact that my implants could be playing a major role in my discomfort. Denial is POWERFUL my friends!! Now only 5 months post explant, with consistent upper body strength training and weekly therapeutic massage, I finally have FULL range of motion for the first time in over a decade. The HEAL gets more REAL everyday! Crazy how we sometimes don't know what we're really missing in life until we take a leap of FAITH. Explant was a huge JUMP for me...I was terrified all the way. And yet now I'm learning how much better my life is without those toxic bags in ways that I NEVER expected. What an incredible JOURNEY this continues to be.....
"Always be like a WATER. Float in the times of pain or dance like waves along the wind which touches its surface." ~ Santosh Kalwar