3/31/19 -STOP the EXPLANT 'Expectation'!!
Updated: May 2, 2019
20 days POST EXPLANT … Symptoms: Head HUM, dry eyes/skin, double vision, headaches, falling over/vertigo, SEVERE chronic fatigue, intermittent depression, muscle pain/weakness continues, profuse sweating, TOXIC body odor (but less now)
Health Improvements: Better complexion (rosy cheeks, fuller face, not so GAUNT), minimal neuropathy, minimal fibromyalgia pain, less anxiety, much better SLEEP, friends/family noticing I seem more 'RELAXED looking' in my expression and demeanor :)
"We must LET GO of the expectation of what this EXPLANT journey is supposed to be!"
And the 'roller coaster ride' back to HEALTH continues...
* Thursday 3/28/19 - SAD day...cried and in bed almost all day :(
By the way, Tears = DETOX!!
"Biochemist William Frey, who has been researching tears for as long as I’ve been searching for sanity, found in one study that emotional tears–those formed in distress or grief–contained more toxic byproducts than tears of irritation (think onion peeling). Are tears toxic then? No! They actually remove toxins from our body that build up courtesy of stress. They are like a natural therapy or massage session, but they cost a lot less!"
* Friday 3/29/19 - After a day of detoxing with TEARS yesterday, better day, MORE ENERGY :) :)
* Saturday 3/30/19 - Slept almost ALL DAY...guess I did too much on Friday, which, compared to my previous lifestyle, was NOTHING! Still having a tough time finding BALANCE in my recovery routine. On the days I feel better, I don't push myself but even doing the smallest amount of activity is very taxing on me right now. One day of MORE movement leads to several days of LESS energy. Just another reminder that this journey will continue to be difficult and LONG, and I need to keep focusing on one day at a time, no EXPECTATIONS!
* Sunday 3/31/19 - Very lethargic again today. Spent a little time outside with the goats which wiped me out so bed and computer it is. I'll force a short stroll in the arena again this evening and continue to focus on what's GOOD today...I felt well enough to BLOG and journal so YAY :)
What a truly humbling experience this journey continues to be! I would NEVER have thought the choice to simply alter my figure by getting implants would be so detrimental to my life. I'm still dumbfounded and in SHOCK about my current health reality. But, after lots of prayer and trying to really HEAR God through the noise of my 'busy mind', which breeds fear, anxiety, frustration, sadness, just UGH!...I do find myself finally coming more to terms with the fact that my journey back to health is my own and there is a reason for it. If I really believe in my heart that God is in control, then I must TRUST this hardship no matter how tough it gets. I have to believe in my heart that He is building me up for something AMAZING! And I pray that those who continue to struggle with the severity of this illness can find a place of peace with being IN this, knowing they are not alone, and that no matter what, on some level our bodies are healthier than they were with the TOXIC bags OUT. It's a 'baby step' process for many and we must trust. Every circumstance we come across in life, no matter how difficult or how uncomfortable it may be while we're in it, we must never give up HOPE that we will find our way through it. My faith carries me through everything, without it, I am nothing. We all have to find faith in something, if nothing else, faith in ourselves...we have to BELIEVE deep within our being that we CAN get better in order to BE better!
"You can worry or you can trust God. You can't do both."