3/2/19 - My SYMPTOMS will SAVE ME!
Explant Scheduled 3/11/19
Symptoms: exhausted, neuropathy (shocks, "body bugs", new in FACE!), dry eyes/heavy eyes/dark circles, higher pain levels, muscle soreness, arthritis pain (rainy day), raynauds
We all have a way to cope with the difficult times in our lives and my way to handling the harsh reality of breast implant illness is to really FEEL what is happening to my body, every moment of EVERY DAY! I need to remember how bad it got in order to come to terms with having to let go of the boobs I have become so attached to over the years. Staying focused on how terrible I feel, how much of my life I have lost, how much I've had to GIVE UP by having these toxic bags inside me is the only way I can rationalize the need to explant surgery. To some this may seem masochistic, a form of self-destructive behavior, but for ME it is the healthiest way I can process this experience so I can move forward and GROW from it. It's MY way of paying respect to my ailing body, choosing to finally LISTEN and really be PRESENT with every symptom and emotion that plagues me. I honestly believe that ignoring my symptoms, feelings, and emotions is what lead to my RAPID health decline so I feel I actually OWE my body my full attention...it's the LEAST I can do after all the years I looked the other way.
"There is a voice that doesn't use words. LISTEN."