3/17/19 - Healing HIATUS
Updated: May 2, 2019
Symptoms: lethargy, joint pain, dry eyes, double vision, head HUM, butt/leg muscle soreness, weak, stomach cramping/double vision after meals, upper back pain, chest pain (healing)
Sometimes the absolute best medicine for an ailing body is to just STOP. We live in a 'go, go, go' world, surrounded by constant stimulation. Our nervous systems have to work double time just to keep up with the stress of daily living. And since my nervous system has been on overdrive for MANY YEARS "fight AND flight" trying to save me from the TOXIC bags inside my chest, it has run out of gas...LITERALLY! I went into explant surgery already depleted, on so many levels: systemic, physical and emotional. Now that my body needs to work on regulating itself, to DETOX, and has to 'shift' to find a new normal, there just isn't anything left in the 'tank' to help these processes occur. After so many years of pushing through, of not listening to the cries of my ailing body, it is finally time to show myself some much needed respect and apologize for all the harm I've done. But words aren't enough, action is the only way to prove to my body that I am truly sorry and that I'm willing to do whatever is required to get my life back. And just writing these words, what a MAJOR mental shift for me to even be willing to slow down and stop pushing myself. Move, PUSH, drive, PUNISH, go go GO is all I've known my entire life. I am just SHOCKED at how this journey continues to change me, to take me way out of my comfort zone. And what's even more shocking to me is that I'm not 'fighting' the need to be pushed out of my comfort zone to be STILL, I'm actually embracing the opportunity for this much needed quiet time, and that, my friends is GOD!
One of my new favorite quotes from scripture, one that I have memorized and now apparently find myself willing to embrace and truly LIVE:
"Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, so that you may prove that which is good, and acceptable and the perfect will of God." ~ Romans 12:2