3/1/19 - My ATHLETIC life is GONE!
Explant Scheduled 3/11/19
Symptoms: weak legs, dry eyes/ocular fluid
As a personal trainer/health coach, I live and BREATHE fitness but with BII, my reality is a 4 minute workout = dizzy spell, shaky arms, DONE! Aside from my career, however, exercise has always been a form of THERAPY for me, I way to decompress and manage my struggles with chronic anxiety/depression. It has been my "healthy crutch" throughout my whole life. So when I was stripped of my ability to do regular workouts, I found myself LOST and very much outside my comfort zone. At first I FREAKED, completely LOST and confused about how to live without consistent movement. And I still find it heartbreaking that this illness can take away so much from the lives we once knew! But...HEY...time to GROW in this challenge, be FORCED out of my comfort zone, right?!?! I had to find a new way to handle anxiety and learn to be ok with just being STILL with myself. And you know what happened?!?! I learned about the amazing power of being QUIET with God in prayer; how fulfilling just being in a moment, being PRESENT, can truly be. Just WOW is all I can say. Only in those moments with Him, with ME, have I been able to really open my heart to learning about myself, about my purpose in life. There is honestly nothing more genuine that the moments of clarity that come from WITHIN when we stop long enough to allow this deep reflection. Don't get me wrong, I miss my active life, I still love to exercise and I pray that I"m able to get well after EXPLANT and enjoy my workouts again. But, through this very difficult time in my life, I learned a life lesson that I would have NEVER slowed down enough to fully absorb had I not been knocked to my knees...LITERALLY! The power of PRAYER is beyond verbal explanation and I truly believe that God blesses us with these struggles to help humble us to INNER HEALING and PEACE :)
"If it doesn't challenge you it doesn't CHANGE you."