2/24/19 - My body SCREAMED and I said "SHUT UP and MOVE!"
Explant Scheduled 3/11/19
Symptoms: better energy, balance issues when walking, neuropathy (feet)
There have been so many life lessons learned throughout my journey with breast implant illness, the BIGGEST one being my lack of self-awareness and self-love. Over the past several years, my pain levels increased dramatically and my energy levels were declining but I literally REFUSED to listen to my body AT ALL! I would actually find myself pushing HARDER on the days I was feeling depleted and hurting, as a way of 'punishing' my body for not being able to keep up with the active life I wanted to live. Instead of showing compassion towards myself by allowing for rest and recovery on the days I was more fatigued or experiencing more pain, I made my body do even MORE. When I look back now, even as I write this, my heart is SAD and tears start to fall...how could I be so MEAN and hate myself so much?!?! The mind is SO powerful and the voices in our head, those demons from our past that haunt us with words of "you're not good enough", "you're not worthy of love", "you don't matter", can be so LOUD and so constant that it's difficult not to believe them. But the truth is, we are NOT our thoughts about ourselves! They are just THAT...thoughts...and nothing more. This humbling experience has taught me so much about my need to learn to RESPECT my body and stop giving my mind all the control in my life and that, my friends, is such a BLESSING :) I'm finally ready to embrace a loving relationship with myself that will allow me to love others more authentically and allow me to LIVE more fully...thank you GOD!
"The relationship with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship you have."